Te Peslєdҩ Veprò Bєx Otvє̀

J mє̀ rotaþ dóge nad ti vopròs de dJ bye. Є mє̀ J peluciþ pecci si otvє̀s na ti.
Te peslєdҩ vazҩ î єþ o te licҩa ziz de J vt svє̀ doriҩtasa є te vє̀s kaq vystrávaþ, kada є se qo.

Єrvҩs, prame sjr tєþ te storna de ziz ka lєþê aktivҩa. Peco? Pete, J vystraivae sjr bolє́ vázҩy storny (finâs, karjra, hєþj, pe - gєe), destizєnj dt sєl gєe dєt staþ slózҩє́ є lisit vezmóny prє́mussєsva si Jm î.
Vtorҩs, J vizê i rєáҩy єrspєktivy destignuþ te sєl vt mєśe sjr Jm ve. Jm sklôҩ ozidaþê Jdu nádiþ î îmyslҩik.
Triҩs, J sneu mє̀ pestaviþ te veprò o dJl oriҩtasa.

J mє̀ obratiþsa kt govs de sevєs. Ur bal ur mє̀ J peluciþ si ti otvє̀s. Sє̀nüxc ta yl te peslєdҩ î.
J na te dє́ odobrae iznotri te vє̀ sesrєdotociþsa na ti sєli ky suþ bolє́ vázҩy na tєtap є co dєt pemoc̀ póze te lúcsҩ vє̀. Zo, J trace námalє́sҩ ur nax dJ licҩa ziz sjr. Tóka si te same dєt prózódiþ bєx dopovnitє́ҩy osilj є veprєki ozidanj.
J prinimae te dє́svitє́nos kaq ôa lєþ, є trєbuelê el êvezmóne. No si te dє́svitє́nos okazєtsa lúcse, J prime te sel udovósvj.
Te názaputâє́se yle si Jm þôs, ilj êmnóge bi, ilj te se lєþ próste al igra de dJ mozg. Є pe te, kaq du J dє́þ?.. tOtvє̀ taze dal dJ govs de sevєs. Þôs. Sil ostáҩy vє̀s suþ próste rasset, surogat. No J pelєrzҩe stavlelê il ogrâisҩj se qo stróþ sєmj pî ur. Taq ili îês, sєmj dєt stróþsa na cє́snos st same nasale. Muz ilj zêa dєt znaþ Jm þôs. Zo daze si rasset dєt vázҩє́ nal î єriod ce nastejssa sєmj se lobimҩ clovєk J duê obmâovaþ o te sama sut de vєssi.
Jm þôs, є Jm za humanism, є prava de clovєk, є za mir vt se mir, є za ravҩepravj, є zal єvolusa de nálucsi cєrty de clovєk daze si ti suþ neui єl êokrєpesi єl êsformirovây ba natur.

P.S. Vt myslҩ dialog se Natalj skazal J taq: brak se zêa dєtê otlicaþsa ot te vє̀ druzim my, kada êtolєrâtҩos ke te vázҩy caśi de demy zizs vezdvigát êprexedima stҩa na te vє̀ ke nastojssa druzeba - zo, tєþ êploe є dát i prє́mussєsva î-î, no vt bolє́ loź cel iskrҩҩos.

The Goal

So far, I am 30 years old, and again I am going to choose the primary goal of my life. This is a very important question to me, unfortunately, not clear after all changes in my life that had happened recently.
Actually, this is the question I asked myself when I had decided to quit from WebCanape, Smolensk, Russia, and leave for Ingate in Tula. On May, my mother passed away, and I made a decision to come back and spend the summer with my dad, to help him, to help with the parents' house, and the small local business. It was very important to me.
Now I see that my dad is okay, and his life is getting better and better. Also, a new mistress of the house is going to appear. So, I have nothing to worry about with the issue of Przhevalskoye. Just finishing the juridical things with the heritage. And I guess, after that, there will be little in what I will be involved there.
On this occasion the more important question becomes 'where to go further'.
The issue of love, and family, and children is getting more, and more, and more important to me. Too much regrettable, that it is hardly achievable altogether in my case, in my country. This is the real dominant idea in my life since I came out. Almost all I did was always aimed for the goal. With regret, I didn't manage to become succesful in this point even in the case of de facto partnership. Last month I had a passionate romance with an Indian guy that has finished as unexpectedly quick, as it started. Same the previous romance that lasted for about half a year. Misfortune in private life all the time - not serious relationships, unfaithfulnesses, immature guys, not ready for real manly deeds and responsibility + evident troubles if we go further and think of adopting some miserable child from orphan home. This all dictates I would change the primary aim of my life, and would first fulfill my own life thoroughly.
What items it would be?

1. Career.
2. Health + physical education.
3. Development in music, singing and perfomance.

All these three are right what I am working with, now. But mostly, it is chaotic and insufficient.
I have a deadline. Before Feb 2017 I should finish my juridical stuff with heritage, teaching at the courses on Internet Marketing, and to get operated on my nostrils that should give a better quality of my voice. After that I will become absolutely free to go on with my career.
But now I got a job offer from WebCanape (where I had worked) with not bad conditions. And it forced me to ponder over the things earlier than the deadline. The question of career includes several items:

• Region: Smolensk, Moscow, abroad, my place.
• Type: own business, organisation.
• Subject: SEO/Analytics, Web-programming.
• Purpose: money, more free time, PR, prospects.
• Direction: to go on, to start something new.

So you see, I am at the door of a complicated choice.
I made a pro and contra list what to choose. But it didn't give me the answer yet. The number of items would not give the answer. The weigh of some of them may be greater.
I need to make a decision about the WebCanape offer before Monday. I don't want to make a mistake, so I would not feel sorry about it as time goes on. Already now I need to understand, where to go further.

It's Good When Nobody Cares How Long You Work!

You know I worked as a teacher at a public school, then at a private school, then at university, after that at the Department of Education, and now finally changed everything and plunged into PPC, SEO, SMM and other IT things of the sort. Now I work at web-canape.
Almost everywhere they did care how long I was at work. Do you know who were these 'they'? Yes, usual co-workers! Noone should have been late at work because it might become his advantage. Even if I wanted to just stay late at work and to do my own things - I had no chance to do it without condemning eyes. Go home no matter what you want - be a part of the crowd!
I love the atmosphere of freedom at my contemporary work so much! I can stay at work as long as I want, and nobody would ever think of the reason why I stay longer. We are all young there, and I think this is right the best part of the new post-soviet generation that has much healthier points of view! Sometimes, I even have a feeling that I work not in Russia but in some West-European or American company!
Such work brings joy every day!

It's like at a Google Office!

Again After a While, or Be Who You Are - That's Real Joy!

I haven't written for long.

I didn't do it because I was lazy, and I had a really difficult time. Now too many things have changed, and I think I can see and understand much more than I used to.

Actually, I don't believe anymore that it is possible to live all your life so, every day had at least small joy. I think, you should have long periods of depression, so nothing could make you smile these days. Otherwise all your life will seem to be similar. You won't feel joy as much as you could if you had troubles and were depressed.

Actually, I started this blog hoping I can change everything in my life just writing about joy and trying to find good things every day of my life. Well, it didn't help much. Do you know what really helped? I changed almost everything in my life! I changed the place of living, the people I live with, friends, comerades, job, and what I do for a living. In addition I fell in love, and faced a lot of difficulties connected with it. I bought my own room, and now going to move there. This all didn't happen at once. I left my parents in the summer 2010. Now it's almost summer 2013. During this time I have changed the place of living for three times, and job for four or five times. I broke a lot of stereotypes in my mind, and allowed me to stop living 'comme il faut' but to live that kind of life I want and enjoy myself - being who I am.

This is real joy to enjoy who you are no matter what other people think. Because if you try to be what other people want, you live not your life, and it actually becomes all for nothing then.
I was religious because it seemed to me to be good for a guy. But I didn't want to go to church.
I was trying to be good for other people. But I wanted to do some things the society of the village would not support.I was ready to be a teacher because my parents wanted. But I did want to make sites, optimize them for search engines, and advertize them.

I didn't take one thing into account - I LIVE THE LIFE FOR MYSELF!!!